In preparation of our parting

The stick

I picked

last Sunday 

in our woods

and an empty 

bottle of ...... whisky.... probably

and a shard of porcelain

fragments - stories - connections

to past and present

and 

the future so near

without you

in preparation 

of our parting

I am creating

because creating is eternal

and you shall be with me 

contained

in every single

creation

embedded in love

soft soft hands

soft soft hands

holding you

touching you

framing your face

your eyes

big blue lakes

searching

questioning

closing

is it time to go?

I can not leave

you yet Mama

the hymns are not 

sounding 

yet 

the bell is not

chiming 

yet

You are tired

my darling

it`s ok

you can go

as you say

you will be 

over the rainbow

dancing on sunshine

Signs in my bodily landscape

First came the tears of desperation

then a solid bar of pain

out of the blue

across my back

at the height of the heart

and my right shoulder blade

frozen

and my tummy swollen

and hollow 

and full

These are the signs in my 

bodily landscape

across the ocean

across the seas

across the snowy mountain tops 

and across the layers 

my love for my mother

is indescribable 

I love her

her face fallen

and sometimes illuminated

the face of the little girl she was

clear blue eyes

a softness and gentleness

and grace 

beauty

that is my mother

Ode to Creativity

What magic - the makings of a child

beyond the realms of biology

into the realms of creation

I catch a glimpse of the humming bird

the vibration of its wings 

the fluttering of its flight

something is sparkling and crackling

begging me to surrender

de-anchoring my fear with its charm

Images appear

words and shapes are formed

the beginnings of a new creation

so it goes - beyond the child

beyond all creatures 

small and tall

my need to be in touch

with that energy

that wave of making

weaving through

pain and despair

joy and hope

doors fling open

and windows 

the ticket to the sky

wanderings of the mind

Sky - Earth - World

it all makes sense - in the end

I am appeased

I find rest

and as I make 

as an appendix and

squeezed in between

walking, talking, soothing

and exhaustion

it all finds itself 

back 

in the right place

colours

textures

shapes

containers

always containers

and ultimately 

love

I love myself

I love you

I love the world

Creativity brings Peace

Transformations

No words do justice

to what is felt inside

images - forms - colours

landscapes

of eternal lives

heavy hearted

but it is through the joy

I get there

I sense - I know

deep felt sadness

and satisfying joy

I leave the sorrows 

at the feet of the

cathedral

its chambers take care

of the need to die

of the need to understand

illuminate those

wretched souls

of the putrified mess

illuminate those hearts

and throw the cloak

of love across the 

lands

we shall meet again

brothers in arms

sisters of earthen seeds

we shall

On sharing.....

As a mother I can't bear the pictures that have gone round the world of children injured in the recent conflicts in Gaza and other conflicts around the world. 

Other pictures, reality of peoples' lives, are the ones of starving children - it is beyond comprehension. 

Where I live

we live a life of plentiful

we can walk the streets 

without fear for our lives

our children can play and smile

and are soundly at sleep at night

I am grateful for that and feel disturbed in the knowledge that for many it is not. 

Today, Share International came through my letter box and an excerpt printed at the back of December's edition reads :

"When men take the decision to share together the produce of this bountiful world, an extraordinary and mysterious happening will take place: at a stroke, men will realize that the need for war is past, the menace of terrorism will quickly disappear, the trust engendered by sharing will make the problems facing men, environmental and territorial, resolvable in blossoming goodwill. Through sharing, men will realize that they are brothers, and acting as brothers in close co-operation, will begin the process of transforming the world". 

Benjamin Creme's Master, from 'the secret of living', A Master Speaks

note the sign' brother' in the shop window
the two crosses of light seem like two brothers standing next to each other

steps of separation

my own mother

my own development

work

are taking me away

away 

from my children

my family

oh the pain

the anxiety

the wish 

for comfort

forever

Yet 

such it is

steps of separation

necessary

painful

unsettling

Mami

stay here

STAY HERE

emphatically

while his gaze

locks into mine

I am here 

and there 

my son

oh but I know

the steps of separation

necessary

painful

unsettling

my heart is weeping

yet I am the lone 

figure

running along the beach

into the clouds

of an uncertain horizon

for me 

and for you