Fundamental Aloneness

I have reached a stage where no talking, no books, no advice, no information is doing anything for me anymore. Any input is confusing me and shaking my balance - it threatens to throw me into the abyss. 

I am alone

Alone in me I will find the answer

I know

It's a habit running to people or things to appease my doubts and anxieties. And there is a sigh of relief when I turn towards my inner sanctum - and stay still. But to do that, completely, is a mammoth task. I don't know why. I panic about letting go of this worldly habit. 

I am almost in terror about letting go of this shore and to give myself over to the water that takes me to the other side. 

I am indeed in a process. 

May I sense the extended hand of the Light

and not fall into the traps of the Black Hole

This is my fundamental aloneness. 

No one but me knows 

I am clinging on but soon must let go....... 

Change. 

The Hanged Mother with Babe