Asking for forgiveness

I asked for forgiveness 

my ten week old 

fourth potential child 

not to be

For not wanting it

for rejecting it 

for being in such pain

not to be

If you had come into 

our lives

I know I would have 

loved you and supported you

For love prevails - always

Nonetheless 

I ask you to forgive me

for those difficult feelings

at the beginning of your creation

I do not know 

why you were

not to be

not to grow fully

I do not know

why

what 

when

But I do know that

I get answers

when I ask 

the Universe responds

What is your name 

I asked 

and the answer came

clear and loud

Bela 

Time

Within

at the sea's shore

Your name couldn't be more apt

more meaningful

more true

I embrace you

Bela 

and I will forever

be full with your gift

Thank you.