Tuesday, 21 May 2013

Separation

Oh the nerves
oh my boy
you can do it
I can do it

I know


the playtime will not fade
the boys and the sticks will not fade
your sisters' shouts and bouts 
of ownership - this or that way

will not fade

my arch and bow
of holding and encircling
extends and stretches



always and forever
my boy
in my heart and mind

and the reunion
oh so sweet 
and the laughter
oh such joy

leaping bounds of worlds



Monday, 20 May 2013

Grief stricken


what a funny word
grief stricken
struck by grief?

struck by lightening
and thunder
like a bolt from the sky?

or struck down by

memories
thoughts
emotions
feelings

strikes a chord
on strike
feeling mad and sad

today I guess
not bothered 
not cared for?

the need to be good
to myself
to find the heart

even if pierced

grief stricken
and on strike
waves of washing liquid

breaking my skin
opening wounds
soothing cream

all over again

today
and tomorrow 
another day?





Thursday, 9 May 2013

The I-am-bothered-bag

That was her giving-up-bag
her oh-I-can't-be-bothered-bag

I will not give up 
I shall not go down the same path

I got a bright-blue-shiny bag
with neon pink dots
a Fiorelli-fun-out-of-synch-bag

it does stand for containment
and always will

my sadness
my distress
my anger
my raw state of frazzledness

my blue-neon-pink-bag
makes me laugh
makes me want to jump
and stick my tongue out

I am bothered Mama, I am!

A Margaret-Thatcher-hanging-on-me-arm-bag
meaning business
such fun!

and if you man don't behave
I'll whack you round ye head
to keep you in check

my blue-electric-neon-pink-hot-fun-bag
hangs on me arm

my shiny-bright-blue-polka-dot-pink-business-bag

the I-am-unlike Maggie-bothered-bag

I can not give up - not now - ever Mama



Saturday, 4 May 2013

The story of the injured child

The injured child is defenceless and in need of support. She is lying on the ground and has no more strength. She can't stand anymore. 

But help is at hand


Out of the barren landscape of motherly absence grows a mother and child bond, so tender, so beautiful like the soft running sand from the desert, like the waving palm trees, giving shade from the burning sun. It is a bond coming out of that barrenness, from the good of that barrenness. Its offshoots are strength, resilience, power, and quiet-big presence. 





The other help lies in the centre, flowing directly from the injured child. Through the fire she must go. And on the other side she encounters love. And joined hands, in solidarity. 

The Great Mother
as always, is there, an eternal, clear, steady, deeply loving presence. The clarity of her gaze, encircles age old stepping stones and arches of pathways. Behind her, as always, and again and again, the communion of people sharing and partaking in the circle of humanity. 






Lastly, help comes from the ancient rites of passages, from ancient wisdom and ways of survival. On either side the girl has the help of the shepherds, the keepers of the lower kingdom. The boys and the men who can be in the face of loneliness, in the face of bare existence. 





And so the story goes. 


Friday, 19 April 2013

Fragments of the in-between world

 imagine you are that baby
rather than
all curled up
oh yes that is nice

imagine you are pregnant 
rather than
those twins in your swollen tummy
oh yes that is nice

boys this time?

no - girls

always girls 
from top to bottom

somewhere over the rainbow

It is quiet there
where are your bairns?

The girls are brushing their hair

where troubles melt like lemon drops

it is hard to die

why oh why can't I?

yes

you take care

who is going to hang up?

......

you just caught me in time

shall I hang up?

Yes

we lit a candle 
at the end I imagined
I am dead

but not yet
disappointed

images
scents - not so much

but touch

freckled and speckled

I know

like a beautiful beach in the morning sun

do you think something is holding you back?

you can go now into the light

It's Easter Sunday

your face like a moon
a beaming smile

I am thinking of them

all the time
from top to bottom

I've been considering that

we will cross in the sky

I'm afraid so

the thread has been cut
triangle shattered

top to bottom

liberation

smile

it is good

you are free

the debt has been paid



Sunday, 7 April 2013

Final Farewell

farewell my lady
off you go
into the light
into the abandon of love

farewell my lady
behind you - riches of life
pebbles and stepping stones
blossoming fields

all this you own

the rainbow
the sunshine
the stars

may we be reminded
of the grace and beauty
that lies therein

farewell my lady
travel safely
gently we hold you - your hands

farewell





Tuesday, 12 March 2013

In preparation of our parting

The stick
I picked
last Sunday 
in our woods

and an empty 
bottle of ...... whisky.... probably

and a shard of porcelain

fragments - stories - connections
to past and present

and 

the future so near

without you

in preparation 
of our parting

I am creating

because creating is eternal

and you shall be with me 

contained
in every single
creation

embedded in love