Fragments of the in-between world

 imagine you are that baby

rather than

all curled up

oh yes that is nice

imagine you are pregnant 

rather than

those twins in your swollen tummy

oh yes that is nice

boys this time?

no - girls

always girls 

from top to bottom

somewhere over the rainbow

It is quiet there

where are your bairns?

The girls are brushing their hair

where troubles melt like lemon drops

it is hard to die

why oh why can't I?

yes

you take care

who is going to hang up?

......

you just caught me in time

shall I hang up?

Yes

we lit a candle 

at the end I imagined

I am dead

but not yet

disappointed

images

scents - not so much

but touch

freckled and speckled

I know

like a beautiful beach in the morning sun

do you think something is holding you back?

you can go now into the light

It's Easter Sunday

your face like a moon

a beaming smile

I am thinking of them

all the time

from top to bottom

I've been considering that

we will cross in the sky

I'm afraid so

the thread has been cut

triangle shattered

top to bottom

liberation

smile

it is good

you are free

the debt has been paid

Final Farewell

farewell my lady

off you go

into the light

into the abandon of love

farewell my lady

behind you - riches of life

pebbles and stepping stones

blossoming fields

all this you own

the rainbow

the sunshine

the stars

may we be reminded

of the grace and beauty

that lies therein

farewell my lady

travel safely

gently we hold you - your hands

farewell

In preparation of our parting

The stick

I picked

last Sunday 

in our woods

and an empty 

bottle of ...... whisky.... probably

and a shard of porcelain

fragments - stories - connections

to past and present

and 

the future so near

without you

in preparation 

of our parting

I am creating

because creating is eternal

and you shall be with me 

contained

in every single

creation

embedded in love

soft soft hands

soft soft hands

holding you

touching you

framing your face

your eyes

big blue lakes

searching

questioning

closing

is it time to go?

I can not leave

you yet Mama

the hymns are not 

sounding 

yet 

the bell is not

chiming 

yet

You are tired

my darling

it`s ok

you can go

as you say

you will be 

over the rainbow

dancing on sunshine

Signs in my bodily landscape

First came the tears of desperation

then a solid bar of pain

out of the blue

across my back

at the height of the heart

and my right shoulder blade

frozen

and my tummy swollen

and hollow 

and full

These are the signs in my 

bodily landscape

across the ocean

across the seas

across the snowy mountain tops 

and across the layers 

my love for my mother

is indescribable 

I love her

her face fallen

and sometimes illuminated

the face of the little girl she was

clear blue eyes

a softness and gentleness

and grace 

beauty

that is my mother

Ode to Creativity

What magic - the makings of a child

beyond the realms of biology

into the realms of creation

I catch a glimpse of the humming bird

the vibration of its wings 

the fluttering of its flight

something is sparkling and crackling

begging me to surrender

de-anchoring my fear with its charm

Images appear

words and shapes are formed

the beginnings of a new creation

so it goes - beyond the child

beyond all creatures 

small and tall

my need to be in touch

with that energy

that wave of making

weaving through

pain and despair

joy and hope

doors fling open

and windows 

the ticket to the sky

wanderings of the mind

Sky - Earth - World

it all makes sense - in the end

I am appeased

I find rest

and as I make 

as an appendix and

squeezed in between

walking, talking, soothing

and exhaustion

it all finds itself 

back 

in the right place

colours

textures

shapes

containers

always containers

and ultimately 

love

I love myself

I love you

I love the world

Creativity brings Peace

Transformations

No words do justice

to what is felt inside

images - forms - colours

landscapes

of eternal lives

heavy hearted

but it is through the joy

I get there

I sense - I know

deep felt sadness

and satisfying joy

I leave the sorrows 

at the feet of the

cathedral

its chambers take care

of the need to die

of the need to understand

illuminate those

wretched souls

of the putrified mess

illuminate those hearts

and throw the cloak

of love across the 

lands

we shall meet again

brothers in arms

sisters of earthen seeds

we shall